Feeds:
Posts
Comments

Posts Tagged ‘anger management’

angry girl

I remember thinking, when I first embarked upon my spiritual journey way back in the day, that I’d never be angry again. Then when I’d find myself being angry I assumed I came off my lofty perch and succumbed to a weakness, or had found a fault in my aspirations for perfection. Today I laugh at those assumptions and can assure you, that after thirty plus years of spirituality seeking, learning, teaching and practicing . . . I still have days when I’m angry. And sometimes I even enjoy this powerful emotion!

It’s a misconceived notion to think spiritually minded people don’t get angry. When Jesus went into the Temple and flipped over the tables and made a mess of things, I don’t believe he did so in a quiet, apologetic way. No, I believe he made some noise when he upturned those tables because he didn’t like the way the money changers were ripping people off as they exchanged their currencies to offer donations to the Temple. He was channeling the emotion of anger to make a point. Did he stay angry? No, he went off to meditate afterwards to clear his space.

You have a body, but you are not that body. Likewise you have emotions, but you are not those emotions. You are spirit. Your body is your house. The emotions are the language the body uses to let you know what kind of energy is moving through your environment. Anger is one of those emotions. The key is to learn how to discern whether the emotions you are experiencing are yours, or someone else you may be ‘matching’. For example, have you ever gone to work in a great mood, singing a tune, feeling high on life, only to start feeling crabby a few hours later? Now you’re thinking about how you hate your job or how your roommate or spouse didn’t put the cap on the toothpaste in the morning and boy, don’t they know how that really pisses you off?

But if you were able to step out of that moment and look around you, maybe you’d see a co-worker stewing at their desk with their face all scrunched with a clear look of agitation. Then you’d recognize it was their anger you were experiencing. It was their energy moving through the office, with their angry thoughts and feelings that went into your aura. Only when it reached your space you translated it into your thoughts and feelings. This is called matching energy. In my next post I’ll address what to do about that, but for now, let’s move on with the anger!

When used correctly, anger is a very powerful tool. When used incorrectly, it becomes a weapon. What’s the difference?

Anger as a weapon: Too many times, when people are angry, they spew the anger all about them at whoever, whatever is in their path. This is called ‘destroying outside your space’. Have you ever gotten into an argument because you were mad, said words you couldn’t take back and ruined a friendship or relationship? That’s an example of destroying outside your space. Or you get so pissed you pick things up and smash them to pieces? Again, another example of destroying outside your space. It feels good in the moment but you’re left picking up the rubble and trying to make amends.

Some people have no permission to express or admit they are angry and suppress the emotion deep inside them. The result is often acne, ulcers, IBS, cancer or other physical issues. Anger as a weapon has been turned on themselves.

Anger as a tool: The truth, is that anger can be a very powerful tool for destroying, cleansing and releasing the pictures or situations that caused you to be angry in the first place. The key is to learn how to run this powerful energy IN your body, not throw it all around you. At first it burns but then it’s like the refiners fire and before you know it, you are clear. My teacher once told me, when you are owning your anger and keeping it in your space, nobody else will know that you’re angry. This is not the same as suppressing it, this is putting that motive force to work for you!

Exercise: Here’s a great exercise to help channel anger that I still use today. And I literally mean today, I just came inside from doing it! All you need are some raw eggs and a felt tip marker.

Write on the eggs the person or situation that has you angry. Write the feelings that go with the anger; frustration, sadness, fear etc. Now go outside. Hold the egg(s) in your hands and imagine all the anger going into the eggs. Really get into it! Now throw the eggs, one at a time, at a fence or on the sidewalk, driveway – anyplace where they will SMASH! When you’re done, you’ll feel better. If you have no place to do this outside you can use your bathtub or kitchen sink. Try this and see how it works.

I encourage you to start using anger as a tool. If you need more help than a raw egg can offer, hypnosis is a great modality to release those deep-rooted anger issues. But think about it, the next time you find yourself getting mad or someone is pushing your buttons you can be thinking, “I have an egg with your name on it!”

Peace to all who wander by to read this post.

Read Full Post »

%d bloggers like this: