Feeds:
Posts
Comments

Posts Tagged ‘emotions’

angry girl

I remember thinking, when I first embarked upon my spiritual journey way back in the day, that I’d never be angry again. Then when I’d find myself being angry I assumed I came off my lofty perch and succumbed to a weakness, or had found a fault in my aspirations for perfection. Today I laugh at those assumptions and can assure you, that after thirty plus years of spirituality seeking, learning, teaching and practicing . . . I still have days when I’m angry. And sometimes I even enjoy this powerful emotion!

It’s a misconceived notion to think spiritually minded people don’t get angry. When Jesus went into the Temple and flipped over the tables and made a mess of things, I don’t believe he did so in a quiet, apologetic way. No, I believe he made some noise when he upturned those tables because he didn’t like the way the money changers were ripping people off as they exchanged their currencies to offer donations to the Temple. He was channeling the emotion of anger to make a point. Did he stay angry? No, he went off to meditate afterwards to clear his space.

You have a body, but you are not that body. Likewise you have emotions, but you are not those emotions. You are spirit. Your body is your house. The emotions are the language the body uses to let you know what kind of energy is moving through your environment. Anger is one of those emotions. The key is to learn how to discern whether the emotions you are experiencing are yours, or someone else you may be ‘matching’. For example, have you ever gone to work in a great mood, singing a tune, feeling high on life, only to start feeling crabby a few hours later? Now you’re thinking about how you hate your job or how your roommate or spouse didn’t put the cap on the toothpaste in the morning and boy, don’t they know how that really pisses you off?

But if you were able to step out of that moment and look around you, maybe you’d see a co-worker stewing at their desk with their face all scrunched with a clear look of agitation. Then you’d recognize it was their anger you were experiencing. It was their energy moving through the office, with their angry thoughts and feelings that went into your aura. Only when it reached your space you translated it into your thoughts and feelings. This is called matching energy. In my next post I’ll address what to do about that, but for now, let’s move on with the anger!

When used correctly, anger is a very powerful tool. When used incorrectly, it becomes a weapon. What’s the difference?

Anger as a weapon: Too many times, when people are angry, they spew the anger all about them at whoever, whatever is in their path. This is called ‘destroying outside your space’. Have you ever gotten into an argument because you were mad, said words you couldn’t take back and ruined a friendship or relationship? That’s an example of destroying outside your space. Or you get so pissed you pick things up and smash them to pieces? Again, another example of destroying outside your space. It feels good in the moment but you’re left picking up the rubble and trying to make amends.

Some people have no permission to express or admit they are angry and suppress the emotion deep inside them. The result is often acne, ulcers, IBS, cancer or other physical issues. Anger as a weapon has been turned on themselves.

Anger as a tool: The truth, is that anger can be a very powerful tool for destroying, cleansing and releasing the pictures or situations that caused you to be angry in the first place. The key is to learn how to run this powerful energy IN your body, not throw it all around you. At first it burns but then it’s like the refiners fire and before you know it, you are clear. My teacher once told me, when you are owning your anger and keeping it in your space, nobody else will know that you’re angry. This is not the same as suppressing it, this is putting that motive force to work for you!

Exercise: Here’s a great exercise to help channel anger that I still use today. And I literally mean today, I just came inside from doing it! All you need are some raw eggs and a felt tip marker.

Write on the eggs the person or situation that has you angry. Write the feelings that go with the anger; frustration, sadness, fear etc. Now go outside. Hold the egg(s) in your hands and imagine all the anger going into the eggs. Really get into it! Now throw the eggs, one at a time, at a fence or on the sidewalk, driveway – anyplace where they will SMASH! When you’re done, you’ll feel better. If you have no place to do this outside you can use your bathtub or kitchen sink. Try this and see how it works.

I encourage you to start using anger as a tool. If you need more help than a raw egg can offer, hypnosis is a great modality to release those deep-rooted anger issues. But think about it, the next time you find yourself getting mad or someone is pushing your buttons you can be thinking, “I have an egg with your name on it!”

Peace to all who wander by to read this post.

Read Full Post »

Me on rock

New Hampshire

It’s hard to believe four years have passed since the Universe offered me such a great opportunity for growth and change. And I’m not so sure the word ‘offer’ is quite accurate because at the time it felt like I had been punched in the stomach. I’ve never really spoken about what happened but so many people have asked me about this, I decided to share my story. Don’t worry, I’ll do my best to keep this short. Ish.

Since 1982 I had been involved with a non-profit organization whose original mission was to help individuals get in touch with the God of their Heart and establish a personal relationship with Divine Source. I was ordained as a minister in 1983, was appointed Assistant Pastor of the church in 1984 and held the office of Bishop from 1994 until my departure in 2011. Within the organization was a school for metaphysical studies and also a school for hypnosis training and certification, both of which I was a director and principle instructor.

Many internal changes took place through the years and eventually it became a sick and toxic place – only I didn’t quite see it at the time. Yes, I saw things shifting and moving away from the original intention of the organization but I also continued to believe, very deeply, in the original picture and mission of the church. So I kept smiling and doing my best to keep things flowing by being a good steward and shepherd of the flock. Then in June 2011 I was called to an impromptu Board meeting. There were three board members at the time, myself and two other women. The other two had decided (without a vote I might add) that they thought it would be best for the organization if I no longer received a monthly stipend for my services; that because there had been a decline in students it would financially help the organization if I worked for free. But, I could keep 20% of all the hypnosis work I did.

I think this is when I had my first real out of body experience. I could see them talking and smiling but I was floating far above them, as if in a tunnel. Their voices were muddled. I wasn’t comprehending the logic of what I had heard. No stipend. No income. How was I going to pay my rent? How were my husband and I going to make ends meet on one income? I came back into my body hearing these words, ‘Debi, we can’t lower our stipends because we have bills to pay, you understand!’ Oh yes, I did understand. I understood how, even though these two women did not pay rent or utilities or gas for their free cars, that they were both stuck in survival, lack and limitation. I understood that even though they taught the techniques and concepts and stood behind the pulpit in service they did not, in that moment, have the faith they professed to maintain. I also understood I was leaving.

I took a week to meditate on my next step to make sure I wasn’t having a knee jerk reaction before sending in my letter of resignation. I was devastated. I was hurt. I was really pissed off. And I was so scared. I always thought I’d be at that place for the rest of my life, helping people, teaching and healing. All my sense of personal value was stripped. I felt like I had nothing to offer. If the people I had known, worked with and loved for twenty-nine years didn’t see me as anyone with value or purpose how could I help anyone else? One thing became very clear to me. All my years in training of applying the techniques and concepts had brought me to this point in time. The teaching was about to begin.

Hypnosis: Every day I went into hypnosis to release the emotional pain I was experiencing. Situations from my childhood were also bubbling to the surface because the emotions were similar. It was amazing to see how much crap I was still holding on to from years before. After the intensity began to subside I used hypnosis to create my new image of who I wanted to become.

Prayer: I prayed. Constantly. Sometimes my prayers were more of a plea, often I found myself begging for some divine intervention of understanding. But mainly I prayed to have the anger removed from my space and to allow forgiveness to flow for the situation and everyone involved. This didn’t happen overnight, but the bubble finally popped and I was set free.

Hiking: My husband and I started walking and hiking. Every day. Nature became our sanctuary. It’s difficult to hold on to hurt feelings under a canopy of redwood trees. And breathing in fresh ocean air can cleanse your mind and rejuvenate your soul faster than any written script or sermon. So the outdoors became our pulpit for the new beginnings in which we had embarked upon. And we continue to walk or hike every day!

Within one month of resigning I started a new business and created a new web site. Today I am humbled by our ever abundant, gracious Father and Universe for sending people to me for whom I can offer help and solace. I’ve worked with more people these last four years on my own than I ever was able to attract at the other organization. The Lord does work in mysterious way. I regret nothing from the past and am so grateful for this journey and look forward to all the adventures yet to come. And that’s my story. Or at least a good chunk of it.

If you are going through trials and tribulations, hang in there! There’s a greater reason and purpose that may not be revealed yet, but in time will be made known. If you need guidance with life transitions I can help.

The link to my web site is here: Healed Heart Hypnosis

Some of the sights during our walks:

Bear

Yellowstone Park

Donner Lake

Donner Lake CA

Glacier Park

Lake McDonald, Glacier National Park

Redwood Path

Redwood Regional Park, Oakland CA

Read Full Post »

oilsLet me start by saying I am not a fanatic bible thumping oiler. I’m not writing this blog to push anything on anyone. I just want to share how I’m using essential oils in conjunction with my hypnosis practice, with lots of positive results.

My original intention for purchasing a diffuser and a bunch of oils was to make my house and office smell nice. The more I started to learn about the specific use each oil had and the more I researched about the healing properties the oils hold, the more excited I became. Now I use the oils every day, in both my home and healing center. The oils I purchase are from Young Living. After doing my own research on various companies I chose Young Living because the quality of their oils is superior than others I have purchased in the past. I found it interesting to learn that many essential oil companies either dilute the oils with other products or bottle the oils after the second or third distilling which renders the quality of the oils much weaker and not as effective. Take lavender for example. Pure 100% lavender is fabulous for treating burns and I always have a bottle in my kitchen. However, if you buy lavender that says it’s pure but has an additive in it, you could possibly make the burn worse. So my rule of thumb with anything I buy is ‘pay a bit more and get the best.’

I use essential oils in my hypnosis practice as another tool in the tool box. Before I see a client I’ll start diffusing an oil that will help alleviate the issue they are working on. I have a client who suffers from Chronic Fatigue Syndrome. Before she comes in I make sure I have a combo of lemon and peppermint diffusing in the air. Both of these oils are great for lethargy and energy loss and helps boost mental clarity. Another client has so much on her agenda that she’s always feeling scattered and has a hard time winding down. I’ll have an essential oil blend called Gathering in the diffuser when she arrives. Gathering combines galbanum, frankincense and sandalwood oils. Together they help to collect emotional and spiritual energy, helping to enhance the state of wholeness and unity. Before we start the session I dab Stress Away on her wrists and temples to assist in the relaxation process. Then I proceed with the hypnosis, helping her go to the source of when these hectic patterns of behavior were first imprinted into her subconscious mind.

I love creating an environment and holding the space for healing and positive change to occur. When people see me for spiritual guidance and deeper emotional issues I’ll often include in the session a powerful healing technique called Christ Force Healing. This involves placing my hands on the soles of their feet to help channel this powerful Universal Energy through their body. I first anoint the bottoms of their feet with frankincense oil. This is an ancient oil that helps rid anxiety, sadness and despair and is useful for visualizing and improving one’s spiritual connection and centering. I received an email from one of my clients after she received this healing and she said, “Since that session with you, a whole layer of my depression has lifted, and I don’t believe it will return.” This was four months ago and I’m happy to say she continues to be well. Please note, that as a hypnotist and oil user, I don’t treat, diagnose or cure. I simply use the oils as an aide as I guide people into their subconscious mind for self-discovery and inner change. This is called Transformational Healing.

My desire is to help people release anything that blocks them from living a life of health, wealth and abundance. I will use whatever tools I have to assist them in that process.
If you are interested in learning more about the oils I use, I invite you to look at my web site, the link is below. I have several oils on the front page I recommend and you can see the full inventory via my page. And that’s about as pushy as I’ll get! If you have any questions please contact me!

http://www.youngliving.org/hypnodebi

 

Love & Blessings to all who wander by to read this post!

 

Read Full Post »

Santa-listBefore I share the next exercise, here’s a quick review of the exercises I’ve offered so far on our quest for living the abundant life.

We started with the Purge List: Writing down all the hurts, resentments and misgivings, those complaints and pet peeves you’ve been carrying around with you for so long. This began the process of stirring up and purging negativity from your subconscious mind.

Next I posted the Forgiveness Exercise video. This helped you release the past-time pain pictures so you could start healing your emotional body.

After that we focused on all the different areas of life where we had uncomfortable feelings. The categories for this were Physical, Emotional, Mental, Financial and Spiritual. The idea is that when we admit we have uncomfortable thoughts and feelings towards people, places and conditions in our life, we have let the light shine on those dark corners and the situations no longer have power over us. This work was done while listening to Mary Poppins singing her happy tune, ‘Just A Spoonful Of Sugar’! The exercise was completed by counting your blessings for all the positive things you are thankful for in your life today. This started to flip the polarity in your subconscious mind and re-frame your mind to focus on the positive which helped set the tone for a grateful Thanksgiving.

New Exercise: Your Wish List!

We’re still in the cleansing process but starting to put attention on what we want to manifest for the new year. Get your paper and pen ready. For those of you who grew-up celebrating Christmas with Santa Claus, this is akin to the letters we’d write to him each year, asking to leave all those fabulous toys under the Christmas Tree. There’s a great prosperity lesson within those letters to Santa that I’ll share in another post!

Step 1:
Write down everything you want to bring in to your life. The small and the big, the medium to the ginormous! Don’t worry about how you’ll be able to manifest each item. Take some time and focus on what you’d really like to have. Be sure to include good health on your wish list!

Step 2:
Get your mind quiet. Go back over the list and write down next to each item all the reasons why you can’t have those things. “I don’t have enough money, I don’t have enough time, I don’t have the space…” You get the idea! What you’re doing is shedding light on the blocks in your subconscious mind. These blocks have turned into beliefs. I bet you really do believe those reasons that dictate why you can’t manifest something! A belief is something we consistently think, picture and feel about ourselves and the world around us. It’s time to change your belief system, don’t you agree?

Step 3:
After you’ve completed Step 2, take a little break, then get your mind quiet again. Go back over your wish list and with each item ask the question, ‘who does not want me to have this?’ Don’t try to think of the answer. From the quiet stillness simply let a name come into your awareness. Why is this step important? Because quite often we get stuck in life based on how other people want us to be. People get comfortable when they have access to us, be it emotionally, physically – even spiritually. When we change our vibration by creating positive change in our life, those individuals get bumped out of their comfort zone and have to adjust. Another reason someone may appear next to an item on your wish list is because they’re in competition with you. If they can’t have something they certainly don’t want you to have it! This doesn’t mean these individuals are bad people. You’re simply beginning to discern energy in your space. There’s an old saying; misery not only loves company, it seriously demands it! Let yourself have fun with this process.

Step 4:
Now you’re going to burn everything you’ve written! Your Wish List with the reasons you can’t have those things and the names of the people who don’t want you to have them. That’s right! Get a big bowl or metal container and burn the paper. Watch the flames. Fire is a very powerful cleansing symbol for your subconscious mind. This action represents you releasing the old beliefs and purging your subconscious mind, clearing the way to begin planting the new seed ideas you want to be experiencing in 2015.

tombstoneAdded Bonus Exercise:
If you REALLY want to have some fun, write these words on separate pieces of paper: Can’t. Won’t. Shouldn’t. Impossible. Fear. Now go outside and have a funeral for those words. Bury them in the ground. Make the decision those words and the beliefs that are attached to them are dead to you. Say your good-byes and get rid of them! Anytime you find yourself thinking those dead words you will remember that you buried them and you’ll flip your mind in that instant, back to the positive way of thinking!

After the Winter Solstice on December 21st I’ll begin posting the exercises for manifesting. The energy flips on the Solstice, the purging season is complete and we focus on the Light and new awareness! Until then, keep up the good work of letting go!

Love & Blessings to all who wander by to read this post!

Read Full Post »

lilac Syringa vulgaris in bloom

lilac Syringa vulgaris in bloom (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

There is no concept for ‘normal’ for most ACoA individuals. Not how a healthy family functions, not how a healthy relationship unfolds, not for what acceptable emotions and behaviors may be for any type of situation that for non-ACoA people would be obvious. This creates challenges when an ACoA person desires to move on in life and embrace change because they have no foundation on how they should be thinking, feeling or acting as they take their steps in growth.

People who have grown-up in an alcoholic home learned at a very early age that the only consistency they had was the fact that life was completely inconsistent. We became survivalists in this arena. It was always expected that the alcoholic parent would drink, we just never knew when or where it would start or what the outcome would be; would they simply pass out until the week-end was over or would the police be called to the house…..again.

When I was growing-up in the 60’s and 70’s there was still a lot of stigma and negativity towards alcoholism. My dad being an alcoholic was the biggest secret all the neighbors knew. I just didn’t know they knew, so was always walking on egg shells trying to cover the tracks. My stomach was tied in knots and I was always scared someone would see or hear my dad when he was drunk.

I only had one friend I’d invite into the house who I felt comfortable with if she knew he drank. When she moved to Europe it was three years before I invited anyone else in again. This is not ‘normal’ but for me it was my only option.

If you’ve grown-up in an alcoholic home you know how good you became at lying. It’s not like we set out with lying as our intention, but it became much easier than telling the truth. How did I get the black eye? Oh, I tripped and hit the doorknob in my bedroom. I soon had the reputation of being a klutz. Making up stories like that is not normal but again, at the time, it was my only option.

I was clueless how I was supposed to think and feel in various situations. To hide my insecurities I became the class clown. If I made people laugh I’d feel comfortable and when I got in trouble for it, at least it was because of something I did and not because of what was happening in my home. Of this one aspect of my life I had control.

It took a lot of years of inner work with myself before I was confident in expressing my feelings. I remember one night sitting in a meditation class; we had our eyes closed and our teacher was asking us questions about something and he said “raise your hand if you think this….. raise your hand if you think that…..” I would peek and see how people were answering and raise my hand accordingly. Then I got busted because he said “Debi, it can’t be both ways, which is it for you, A or B?” I was paralyzed in that moment. I was filled with fear of saying the wrong answer and fear that I’d be in trouble for it, when the reality of the situation was we were only being asked for our perspective. Again, not normal!

Hypnosis is an incredible tool to help individuals rise above their ACoA traits. Why? Because all those patterns of behavior and emotions are stored in the subconscious mind. The subconscious mind is like a computer; it will continue acting on the same program until the program is changed. This is why an adult child of an alcoholic has difficulty in learning what ‘normal’ feelings and behaviors are, because their subconscious mind is filled with the old patterns and pain from the past.

I have been working with many ACoA individuals in my hypnosis practice, helping them create a ‘new normal.’ We work on releasing the old negativity and patterns of thoughts and behavior that has been controlling them for so long. It’s like preparing a canvas to paint a picture. Once the subconscious mind has been cleansed, they start focusing in on the type of person they yearn to become, which is setting the foundation for their new normal. This takes time because getting in touch with new positive emotions with the permission to feel and express them is a whole new way of living life. But the journey is empowering and worth every step.

Love & Blessings to all who wander by to read this!

Read Full Post »

%d bloggers like this: